Saturday, September 13, 2008

handz dictionary...hehe

Dictionary
Ankle: Opposite of aunty

Asthma: What you do if dad says no

Barium: What doctors do when treatment fails

Boot: What your friends give you because you spend too much time bragging about your computer skills.

Crapplet: A badlyy written or profoundly useless Java applet. "I just wasted 30 minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!"

Cystogram: A telegram to your sister

Floppy: The condition of a constant computer user's stomach due to lack of exercise and a steady diet of junk food.

Gentleman: A husband who steadies the stepladder so that his wife will not fall while she paints the ceiling.

Gentleman: A man who, when his wife drops her knitting, kicks it over to her so that she can easily pick it up.

Housework: What the wife does that nobody notices until she doesn't do it.

Liver: A person who lives on and on

Mammary: Something you remember

Megaherts: Hurts real bad!

Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

Mother-in-Law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

Mrs.: A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings and no recognition.

Nanogram: Telegram delivered by your grandmother

Pasteurize: Too far to see

Pathology: Study of roadmaps

Pelvis: Cousin of Elvis

Peppier: The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.

Phonesia: The affliction for dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

Secret: Something you tell to one person at a time

Spouse: Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn?t have had if you'd stayed single in the first place.

Tumor: More than one

Urinate: What a nurse says to patient in room eight.

Urine: Opposite of "You're Out".

Wife: A mate who is forever complaining about not having anything to wear at the very same time that she complains about not having enough room in the closet.

Yawn: An honest opinion openly expressed

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